Song to Jim

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Nico
Posts: 16
Joined: Fri Jul 05, 2013 1:36 pm
Location: Germany

Song to Jim

Post by Nico » Sat Jul 06, 2013 2:00 am

Song to Jim

I m deep in the desert, miles from my home
there is no one around me, I m all alone.
I m seeing just sand and a plane without wings,
no bodies, no blood and no rock n roll kings.

Hey Jimmy M, I wrote you a song,
the people all loved you, you weren`t so strong,
seemed sick and so sad, and tired and torn,
It looks like, you wish that you were never born.

Hey Jimmy M, I know that you knew,
all the things that you ve done they were damaging you,
I m singing you a song that your soul can not hear,
cause a long time ago man you died from your fear.

Here s to Janis and Jimi and Kurt Cobain too,
Brian Jones from the Stones and to Keith from the Who,
you sang us the songs that changed everything,
you came with the dust and you left with the wind.

I could leave tomorrow but I m leaving today,
since you re all gone there s no reason to stay.
The very last thing that I want to do,
Is to say that there are many you helped getting through.

I hope some of you like it, I´m sure that the text is not perfect because english isn´t my first language.

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LoveStreet
Posts: 119
Joined: Sat May 04, 2013 5:06 am
Location: Troy, NY

Re: Song to Jim

Post by LoveStreet » Tue Jul 09, 2013 7:54 am

I really liked this! Mr. Mojo Risin'....
(But our beginnings never know our ends!)

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agirlnamedfred
Posts: 158
Joined: Thu Oct 06, 2011 7:22 pm

Re: Song to Jim

Post by agirlnamedfred » Tue Jul 09, 2013 11:41 am

Very nice! I'm curious if the use of the stand alone letter "m" was intentional (as in a tribute to Jim "M") or a byproduct of, as you said, English not being your native tongue (which I would never have guessed, by the way!)? I thought it must be intentional until I saw the stand alone "s" and tried to figure out how that worked with Janis J... JaniS perhaps? At any rate, it had the potential to be a very clever device if honed a little to make it stand out from typos and text speak :). The poem itself is lovely.
Re-examine all you have been told at school or church or in any book, dismiss whatever insults your own soul. ~~Walt Whitman

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Blonde
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Location: Nottingham
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Re: Song to Jim

Post by Blonde » Tue Jul 09, 2013 11:53 am

I'm guessing the standalone s is because the apostrophes are missing.

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agirlnamedfred
Posts: 158
Joined: Thu Oct 06, 2011 7:22 pm

Re: Song to Jim

Post by agirlnamedfred » Tue Jul 09, 2013 12:09 pm

Blonde wrote:I'm guessing the standalone s is because the apostrophes are missing.
That makes sense. I still kind of like it.
Re-examine all you have been told at school or church or in any book, dismiss whatever insults your own soul. ~~Walt Whitman

Nico
Posts: 16
Joined: Fri Jul 05, 2013 1:36 pm
Location: Germany

Re: Song to Jim

Post by Nico » Fri Jul 12, 2013 1:20 am

yes it is because the apostrophe is missing

Nico
Posts: 16
Joined: Fri Jul 05, 2013 1:36 pm
Location: Germany

Re: Song to Jim

Post by Nico » Fri Jul 12, 2013 1:24 am

And thank you very much. I am very happy for the nice comments :)

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agirlnamedfred
Posts: 158
Joined: Thu Oct 06, 2011 7:22 pm

Re: Song to Jim

Post by agirlnamedfred » Fri Jul 12, 2013 1:27 am

It's so obvious now. Headslap moment.
Re-examine all you have been told at school or church or in any book, dismiss whatever insults your own soul. ~~Walt Whitman

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